Why don't elephants have feathers?
If they did, you would confuse them with ducks.

Why don't elephants have olives in their martinis?
Have you ever tried getting an olive out of your nose?

Why don't elephants like Penguins?
Because they can't get the paper off.

Why don't elephants like riding on buses?
They don't have thumbs to ring the bell to get off.

Why don't elephants like swimming?
Because they can't keep their trunks up.

Why don't elephants play football?
They can't buy round boots.

Why don't two elephants go to the swimming-baths at the same time?
Because they have only one pair of trunks between them.

Why is a canary like an elephant?
Neither can ride a bicycle.

Why is an elephant grey and hairy?
Because if it was green and hairy it would be a gooseberry.
Why else?
Because if it was brown and hairy it would be a coconut.

Why is an elephant in a china-shop like a house on fire?
Because we soon hurry to put them both out.