Why do elephants lie on their backs with their feet in the air?
To trap the birds.

Why do elephants live in zoos?
They're cheaper than flats.

Why do elephants never forget?
Because no one ever tells them anything.

Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet brown?
So that they can float upside down in the gravy.

Why do elephants paint the soles of then- feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in the custard.

Why do elephants paint their toenails green, yellow, orange, red and black?
So that they can hide in a bag of jelly babies.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry-trees without being seen.

Why do elephants ride bicycles?
Because they're too big for tricycles.

Why do elephants squirt water through their trunks?
Because if they did it through their tails they'd find it difficult to aim straight.

Why do elephants swim upside down?
So they don't tread on the fish.