What do you do if an elephant feels sick?
Stand well back!

What do you do if an elephant sits in front of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!

What do you do if an elephant sneezes?
Get out of the way.

What do you do if you find an elephant asleep in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else!

What do you do if you meet a herd of elephants coming towards you through the jungle?
Make a trunk-call, and reverse the charge.

What do you do with a blue elephant?
Take him to the circus to cheer him up.

What do you do with a green elephant?
Wait till it ripens.

What do you do with old bowling balls?
Give them to elephants to play marbles.

What do you find between an elephant's toes?
Slow-moving pygmies.

What do you get if a herd of elephants tramples Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.