What goes trump, trump, BANG?
An elephant in a minefield.

What goes trump, trump, BOOM?
An elephant falling over a cliff.

What goes trump, trump, 'EEK!'
An elephant that's just seen a mouse.

What goes trump, trump, SPLAT?
An elephant tripping over a bowl of custard.

What goes trump, trump, SQUASH?
An elephant crossing the M25.

What happened to Ray when he was stepped on by an elephant?
He became an X-Ray.

What happened to the canoe when the elephant got in it?
It sank.

What happened when the circus elephant tripped up?
He pulled out the tails of 6 elephants in front.

What happens to old elephant jokes?
They fall flat.

What happens when the elephant sit on your sofa?
Time to go and buy a new one.