How do you hire an elephant?
Put a brick under each foot.

How do you keep an elephant from smelling?
Tie a knot in his trunk.

How do you know if an elephant is visiting your house?
His bicycle will be parked outside.

How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

How do you make a banana laugh?
Tell it an elephant joke.

How do you make an elephant float?
Take 2 scoops of ice cream and add one elephant...

How do you make an elephant fly?
Buy it an airline ticket.

How do you make an elephant fly?
Well you start with a 6-ft. zip!

How do you make an elephant laugh?
Tell it a banana joke.

How do you make an elephant laugh?
Tickle its ivories.