How can you tell when there's an elephant in the custard?
By the lumps.

How can you tell when there's an elephant locked in your pantry?
When you hear it trumpeting to get out.

How did ducks get flat feet?
From trying to teach elephants to dance.

How did elephants get such long noses?
By playing tug of war with crocodiles.

How did the elephant stop a cold going to his chest?
He tied a knot in his trunk.

How do elephants dive into swimming-pools?
Headfirst.

How do elephants find each other in the dark?
Delightful

How do elephants get in touch with one another?
By elephone.

How do elephants get up trees?
They sit on an acorn and wait for it to grow.

How do elephants have a bath?
They take their trunks off.