What do you get if you cross an elephant with an Axminster carpet?
A great big pile in your living room.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with an insect?
A forget-me-gnat.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with an orange?
Orange squash.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with Dracula?
An animal that sucks your blood through its trunk.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with peanut butter?
An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth; or peanut butter with a long memory.

What do you get if you cross the Alps with an elephant?
A sore bottom!

What do you get if you cross the M1 with an elephant?
Run over.

What do you get if you cross the Underground with an elephant?
Blocked Tubes.