What did the hotel-owner say to the elephant who couldn't pay his bill?
'Pack your trunk and clear out.'

What did the river say to the elephant when he sat in it?
'Well I'll be damned!'

What did the elephant say when it sat on a grape?
Nothing: it just let out a little whine.

What did the elephant say to the hotel-porter?
'Take my trunk, up and Til follow.'

What did the elephant say to the telephone-operator?
7 want to make a trunk-call.'

What did the conductor say when an elephant got on his bus and asked for a ticket to the zoo?
'Thafs Spfor the ticket, and £10,000 for the bus!'

What did the elephant say when he stamped on the mouse in a football match?
'Sorry, ref-Ionly meant to trip him up.'

What did the man say when he saw 4 elephants wearing sun-glasses coming over a hill?
Nothing: he didn't recognize them.

What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing: peanuts can't talk, silly!

What do you say to an elephant with 2 heads?
'Hello, hello. How are you, how are you?'